AdultFriendFinder ripoff scam a complete waste of time and money INTERNET

The fact that you had to post several times claiming this is a legit site tells me you work for this site.  it is nothing more than a SCAM!  Fake profiles, fake people.

I sort of agree AFF is a scam as well, but it's not so much a deliberate one as it is more to do with the companies filtering system (which is non-existent,) and the simple facts of life. Yes, most of the women on AFF are escorts or phony links to other sex related sites. And the database is huge only because members are never deleted, resulting in profiles that haven't been active for weeks or months. 

If you are on the site to begin with then that raises a question. Do not assume, as you said(MOST GUYS) are here to meet you in a hotel, unless that is what your sub conscience is telling you. Not all guys are whores. How about you?

I've been a member of AFF twice in the last 5 years, both times for about a year. My initial reaction was similar to the reaction of the person who filed this report. It seemed like all the women were fake, even the real people were un-communicative, and the free membership was way too restrictive and unexplained (I never did figure out how the "profile views per day" were calculated...sometimes I could view them, other times I couldn't with no rhyme or reason). That all changed when I learned what you need to do to succeed on AFF.

This all changed when I did two things. The most important thing about AFF is that you need to understand that you need to give as much as you expect in return. If your profile is a c**k shot with a paragraph of text without punctuation or misspellings you will *never* get laid, period. I posted a full body nude shot, with my face clearly visible, as well as several other black and white, arty nudes I took myself and had developed at the local Target (I was still pre-digital). If you don't show your face on your profile or in emails that you send your chances of getting lucky are very low. I also spent several hours writing out a profile that clearly stated who I was looking for, what attracted me to partners, and a bit about who I was as a person beyond my sex life. You don't need to reveal too much about yourself, discretion is advised and expected, but realize that everyone on there has the same goal. They aren't going to blab to your parents about your sexual predilictions, that would mean admitting publicizing their own. (Also, put face pics after your primary picture, this limits the people who can view them to paying members since free members can't see anything but a thumbnail of your first picture)

I started a blog on the site (the second time...blogs weren't around when I joined the first time) and posted regularly either about my experiences or various funny or interesting swinger/sexuality type stories. I also made it a point to send my face picture along with emails and limit the number of c**k shots I sent out (remember, free members can't see your profile so you better include lots of info in your emails to make them interested. Emails without pics are almost always deleted. c**k shots are widely reviled, but some women do enjoy them. Their profile will tell you if they might want to see your tool in a first email or not). Also, I took the time to send emails to people I was interested in that were a couple paragraphs long, clearly showed I had read their entire profile, and explained why I was interested in them beyond simply horny-ness.

I also joined as a Gold member. I'm not saying you have to join to get lucky but for a guy it would be nearly impossible to have any luck without being a member. Most women I know on the site get between 50 and 1000 emails a week depending on their looks and their activity level on the site (Blog owners get tons of email). If you can't send emails most women will never find you. I'm currently a silver member and have had plenty of luck, so going Gold isn't necessary.

After doing this the first time I met and had sex with three couples and 5 single women in 6 months. After joining again, even in a MUCH smaller city, I have met nearly the same number of sex buddies. Both times I met both couples and single women who became fast friends in and out of bed.

The key to success on AFF is to realize that meeting people is no different than in person. You need to treat people with class, humility, and humanity and keep it low pressure. Just because you are on the internet doesn't give you the right to constantly harp on sex, use lewd and obnoxious sexual references in all your emails, or pressure women about sex. Treat it as if you were meeting a new friend. You should be open minded and interested in learning about your new acquaintances as people. And for gods sake, respect the sanctity of peoples relationships! If you try to get between a man and his wife, tell her you are better than her husband, or appear that you might fall in love with her if you f**k her, you will be deleted without a second thought and possibly blackballed among that couples friends as well.

Remember, you both are there for sex so you needn't worry about that, it will happen if a mental connection is there (And for many people the sex will be more frequent and kinky than they have previously experienced). That's the beauty of AFF, unlike meeting at a bar you can forget about whether or not you are going to get lucky. You can be assured that if you can forge a mental connection you will get laid, it's one less thing to worry about.

Above all, be honest about yourself and your dating situation (cheating men are sometimes tolerated, but lying cheats are NEVER given the time of day), be open and friendly, and don't expect that women on AFF are any different from women in real life. They are still people with feelings, desires and aspirations...not wanton sex machines without a normal life (Some are wanton sex machines, but that is another story. The wildest ones are still people). If you can control your hormones enough to be a respectable person you will find someone who wants to have sex with you. I'm fit and reasonably attractive, but looks are not the biggest thing, your personality is, so let it shine.

Also, yes AFF does either condone or ignore profiles of fake women. It's despicable, but it's also a business reality. I think mostly they are there simply to inflate the male:female ratio. In the past year I have not received any spam or phishing emails from fake profiles although I did in the past. I think AFF has cracked down on that pretty hard, but the simple reality of human sexuality necessitates that they inflate the number of women on the site in order to get guys to join. It's rooted in biology, there's no need to get angry over it. Women just simply don't seek out NSA sex as frequently as guys do.

If you want to ignore these fake profiles the key is in the "Friends" and "Testimonials" sections of the profiles. If someone has a ridiculously hot picture (especially if the lighting is too good for a home snapshot), and that person has very few or no friends who are scattered all over the country, they are most likely fake. Also, if the profile says they haven't logged in for a month or so you probably aren't going to have any luck even on the off chance that they are real. The surest sign that a person is real is that they have testimonials from other members that honestly thank them for meeting up or state that they had a good time with that person. This goes for you too. It pays to meet people and make friends, even if you don't have sex, and then trade testimonials with them. This tells other members you are real and worth contacting.

Have fun and stay safe!

I've been a member of AFF twice in the last 5 years, both times for about a year. My initial reaction was similar to the reaction of the person who filed this report. It seemed like all the women were fake, even the real people were un-communicative, and the free membership was way too restrictive and unexplained (I never did figure out how the "profile views per day" were calculated...sometimes I could view them, other times I couldn't with no rhyme or reason). That all changed when I learned what you need to do to succeed on AFF.

This all changed when I did two things. The most important thing about AFF is that you need to understand that you need to give as much as you expect in return. If your profile is a c**k shot with a paragraph of text without punctuation or misspellings you will *never* get laid, period. I posted a full body nude shot, with my face clearly visible, as well as several other black and white, arty nudes I took myself and had developed at the local Target (I was still pre-digital). If you don't show your face on your profile or in emails that you send your chances of getting lucky are very low. I also spent several hours writing out a profile that clearly stated who I was looking for, what attracted me to partners, and a bit about who I was as a person beyond my sex life. You don't need to reveal too much about yourself, discretion is advised and expected, but realize that everyone on there has the same goal. They aren't going to blab to your parents about your sexual predilictions, that would mean admitting publicizing their own. (Also, put face pics after your primary picture, this limits the people who can view them to paying members since free members can't see anything but a thumbnail of your first picture)

I started a blog on the site (the second time...blogs weren't around when I joined the first time) and posted regularly either about my experiences or various funny or interesting swinger/sexuality type stories. I also made it a point to send my face picture along with emails and limit the number of c**k shots I sent out (remember, free members can't see your profile so you better include lots of info in your emails to make them interested. Emails without pics are almost always deleted. c**k shots are widely reviled, but some women do enjoy them. Their profile will tell you if they might want to see your tool in a first email or not). Also, I took the time to send emails to people I was interested in that were a couple paragraphs long, clearly showed I had read their entire profile, and explained why I was interested in them beyond simply horny-ness.

I also joined as a Gold member. I'm not saying you have to join to get lucky but for a guy it would be nearly impossible to have any luck without being a member. Most women I know on the site get between 50 and 1000 emails a week depending on their looks and their activity level on the site (Blog owners get tons of email). If you can't send emails most women will never find you. I'm currently a silver member and have had plenty of luck, so going Gold isn't necessary.

After doing this the first time I met and had sex with three couples and 5 single women in 6 months. After joining again, even in a MUCH smaller city, I have met nearly the same number of sex buddies. Both times I met both couples and single women who became fast friends in and out of bed.

The key to success on AFF is to realize that meeting people is no different than in person. You need to treat people with class, humility, and humanity and keep it low pressure. Just because you are on the internet doesn't give you the right to constantly harp on sex, use lewd and obnoxious sexual references in all your emails, or pressure women about sex. Treat it as if you were meeting a new friend. You should be open minded and interested in learning about your new acquaintances as people. And for gods sake, respect the sanctity of peoples relationships! If you try to get between a man and his wife, tell her you are better than her husband, or appear that you might fall in love with her if you f**k her, you will be deleted without a second thought and possibly blackballed among that couples friends as well.

Remember, you both are there for sex so you needn't worry about that, it will happen if a mental connection is there (And for many people the sex will be more frequent and kinky than they have previously experienced). That's the beauty of AFF, unlike meeting at a bar you can forget about whether or not you are going to get lucky. You can be assured that if you can forge a mental connection you will get laid, it's one less thing to worry about.

Above all, be honest about yourself and your dating situation (cheating men are sometimes tolerated, but lying cheats are NEVER given the time of day), be open and friendly, and don't expect that women on AFF are any different from women in real life. They are still people with feelings, desires and aspirations...not wanton sex machines without a normal life (Some are wanton sex machines, but that is another story. The wildest ones are still people). If you can control your hormones enough to be a respectable person you will find someone who wants to have sex with you. I'm fit and reasonably attractive, but looks are not the biggest thing, your personality is, so let it shine.

Also, yes AFF does either condone or ignore profiles of fake women. It's despicable, but it's also a business reality. I think mostly they are there simply to inflate the male:female ratio. In the past year I have not received any spam or phishing emails from fake profiles although I did in the past. I think AFF has cracked down on that pretty hard, but the simple reality of human sexuality necessitates that they inflate the number of women on the site in order to get guys to join. It's rooted in biology, there's no need to get angry over it. Women just simply don't seek out NSA sex as frequently as guys do.

If you want to ignore these fake profiles the key is in the "Friends" and "Testimonials" sections of the profiles. If someone has a ridiculously hot picture (especially if the lighting is too good for a home snapshot), and that person has very few or no friends who are scattered all over the country, they are most likely fake. Also, if the profile says they haven't logged in for a month or so you probably aren't going to have any luck even on the off chance that they are real. The surest sign that a person is real is that they have testimonials from other members that honestly thank them for meeting up or state that they had a good time with that person. This goes for you too. It pays to meet people and make friends, even if you don't have sex, and then trade testimonials with them. This tells other members you are real and worth contacting.

Have fun and stay safe!

I agree with both sides; aff does seem like a waste of money, and alot of people aren't real. HOWEVER, there are real people on there. It's simple to spot a fake.

All I disapprove of is that they advertise on their home site 6-8 members near your area, whatever that may be. Pictures seem legit, right? Well I wanted to amuse myself and wrote down the names of the members pictured that were "in my area". No typos, names were case sensitive, I did not mess this up. Six of the eight profiles could not be found. The other two, with very feminine sounding names, were men from Sri Lanka and India. I don't approve of this, but no adult-themed business could ever be 100% ethical.

Perhaps as a woman I was treated better on ALT -after all, aren't "we" the bait? I joined as a free member in May 2008 and was blogging and shopping for quite a few months with no real pressure to upgrade.. I met some very interesting , intelligent, and sweet individuals on ALT in addition to the usual semi-literate sweaty types.. I was contacted by "gold" and "silver" members and started a relationship of sorts with a most remarkable person -who ,sad to say, I drove away through my own insensitivity. For all I know he is on there still (though too much of a gentleman to disparage me).Point being, I enjoyed being on ALT and had no problem.I did pay for a 3 month membership just to see the explicit photos--and when asked, ALT completely deleted my record.

PORN SITES ARE BIG MONEY MAKERS FOR THE RUSSIAN MAFIA AND SOME OF THE ORGANIZED CRIMINAL HANGS IN THE FAR EAST.

AND THEY ALSO INVEST IN CHILD PORN AND SNUFF VIDEOS AND ALL THE REWST OF THIS TRASH THAT PASSES AS XXX ENTERTAINMENT ON THE INTERNET AND IT ENGENDERS AND INCITES HIDEOUS VIOLENCE ON INNOCENT PEOPLE CONTRIBUTING TO MORE VIOLENT CRIMES.

SUPPORT ORGANIZED CRIME AND RIP-OFFS -- LOOK AT XXX-SITES.

AND PAY FOR WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING TO BE SUPER HOT AND IT IS A RIP OFF.

I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PEOPLE WHO FALL FOR THIS OLD PAY PER VIEW WON'T GET THE VIEW THEY THINK THEY PAID FOR.

I have used Alt.com and within one week was getting some hot a*s.
So anyone that says this is a rip off is FULL OF s**t!!!!!! When I canceled, I was no longer charged. Adult Friend Finder is a TOTALLY LEGIT company.

I have used Alt.com and within one week was getting some hot a*s.
So anyone that says this is a rip off is FULL OF s**t!!!!!! When I canceled, I was no longer charged. Adult Friend Finder is a TOTALLY LEGIT company.

I have used Alt.com and within one week was getting some hot a*s.
So anyone that says this is a rip off is FULL OF s**t!!!!!! When I canceled, I was no longer charged. Adult Friend Finder is a TOTALLY LEGIT company.

I have used Alt.com and within one week was getting some hot a*s.
So anyone that says this is a rip off is FULL OF s**t!!!!!! When I canceled, I was no longer charged. Adult Friend Finder is a TOTALLY LEGIT company.

I've been on AFF for a week after paying for a 3-month Gold membership. Based on my first week of experience, I will not be renewing. I've turned the "auto-renewal" to off.

First of all, there are a lot of fake female profiles (maybe the majority?) on this site. In only my first week, I have deleted at least 30 "winks", "kisses" or "flirts" from women who live thousands of miles away from me. When I factor in the "winks", "kisses" or "flirts" from women whose profiles are inactive or have been removed, the number of suspicious contacts easily number a few dozen, in total, perhaps 60 or more.

Secondly, for some people, evidently, AFF is a lot like Facebook or MySpace in that they seem to want to collect people for their "hot lists" without having any intention of contacting them, let alone meeting them.

Thirdly, the cynic in me really comes out when I read women complaining about the sexually explicit messages they receive. Let's see, you've got your naked breasts in full display, t**t shots, and you've got a d***o stuck in your mouth, plus your profile indicates your favourite sexual fantasy and you detail the different sexual activities you want to engage in and....what? You are surprised and insulted when some guy sends you a blatant expression of interest in having sex with you? Get real. Why not sign up with PlentyofFish or eHarmony, then, post a pic of you in your favourite summer dress, and say something typically lame like: I am a romantic at heart, who enjoys being wined and dined. Let's be friends first, and see what happens.

On the other hand, many of the blogs make for interesting reading, though. And there are some really interesting articles, so it's not a complete loss. Also, I've come to realize that this site could be regarded as a good way to advertise oneself to a few available, local women who one might just run into at the grocery store, on the street, or in a bar.

So, on balance, it's not a total loss, but I am regarding the site as simply a place of entertainment every now and then, some useful information, and also as a way of advertising oneself. However, I am doubtful that I will meet anyone through it, just based on my first week's experience. Maybe I'll be proved wrong. We'll see.

I would like to note that all the complaints about AFF are true--from men and women.

I've been a standard, silver, and gold member of the site over the past 4 years. I've also managed to have dates and several short, medium, and long term relationships with various women on the site.

There are several tricks to keep in mind.

1) A great many of the women on there are fakes.

2) Many of the non-fake women are on the free group chatrooms.

3) If you don't frequent the group chats you must send out a great many emails (it's just like resumes).

4) Read the whole profile. Explore it thoroughly.

5) Write messages appropriate to the profile.

6) Be patient. It took me 6 months for my first date. I'm still on the site though I'm married now (not to someone from AFF) even though I'm not actively seeking partners.

7) Make sure the woman has a great time with you both physically and emotionally.

8) Work out...a lot. Hit the gym and look great in your photos.

9) Look at possibly having fun with couples (M/F) for a MMF.

It is interesting to read that guys like me are upset about a dating site like AFF. I have had an account on AFF for almost four years. During that time I have had a significant number of good and bad experiences and can share some of what I learned. The typical girls on the site come in several catagories:
1. The trappers: They lure you in to spending money, these are typically girls from far away places who send you kisses or nudges or winks or messages. They try to get you to sign up and probably work on commission for a dating site either AFF or a competitor. You can tell because when you try to reply to their account or their email it is shutdown. Sometimes they will try to get you to sign up on another site and will only chat there.
- if someone asks you to chat on another dating site you are being scammed so don't waste your time. As far as AFF is concerned get an account and pay the $30 bucks a month, if you can't afford that, you can't afford a girlfriend.
2. The farmers: They establish a relationship with you and only want to chat on the AFF chat window. They refuse to chat on msn or yahoo. I believe they are paid a commision by AFF to spend your credits.
- chat with gals on the AFF window for a few minutes then ask to switch to msn or yahoo, if she refuses then drop her, she is getting a commision to keep you online and you are wasting your time, this will go nowhere and cost you alot of credits.
3. The escorts: They use AFF to solicite business, if detected their accounts are removed and AFF refunds your credits, they are pretty good about this.
- she will send you her price list on the first exchange of emails, report her to AFF and you will get your credits back, ussually it is done automatically because someone else has already reported her.
4. The scammers: They establish a relationship with you and run into financial trouble and ask that you send money.
- Mostly from Nigeria, don't send money to someone you don't know or have not met. Most scammers don't want to meet with you. They will send you a picture of a 19 year old model, when actually you are chatting with Bob a 40 year old fat guy.
5. Real girls: Yes there are real girls, I have met and dated several of them. However they are on the site to meet an interesting guy, be swept off their feet and romanced.
The first thing us guys need to realize is that all of these types of people exist in the real world too, drop into your local bar and you will find the same thing. So when your online just be smart.
The rules I follow are pretty simple and they work for me.
1. If you are there to be successful then you must be willing to spend time and money. If you ask a girl out, then you expect to pay for the evening so why would online be any different.
2. Take the time to fill in your profile and always include a photo of your face (not you tool), if you were going to ask a girl out, you would brush your teeth, comb your hair and maybe get some flowers, don't expect to spend 30 seconds writing your profile and be successful. Each real woman on the site will recieve several messages per day from prospective suitors, and you must compete with them. Lucky for you most of them spend no more then 30 seconds filling out their profile.
3. Seduce her mind, women don't respond well to "hey baby lets %^&*" in person so why would they online. Try small talk at first, get to know them by chatting then meet at someplace neutral to get to know her. Remember no sex until the third date, why would online be any different.
4. Like in the real world not everyone hits it off. Sometimes the chemistry just doesn't work. If it doesn't work politely move on.
5. Be honest but mysterious, telling her you are 6 foot tall and muscular will be a problem later if you are 5 foot tall and fat, however don't tell her everything, all of us like a mystery and discovering someone else is part of the fun in dating.
6. If you have sent messages to several prospective mates and have received no replies then you should re-look at your profile. Change some things or reword your paragraphs. Spelling and grammer are very important, I SAY AGAIN SPELLING AND GRAMMER ARE VERY IMPRORTANT, women like successful men and the quality of your writing will show them that you took the time to write to them and not just sent a quick "hey u lets get 2 gather"
7. And lastly, the real girls on the site are just that; real girls and they behave just like the ones you know in your neighborhood. They are not there to jump in the sack with everyone who sends them a message. If the girl seems too friendly or claims to be in love with you after three lines of the chat window she is not real, she is Bob. Remember, if it seems too good to be true it probably is. Politely end the conversation and move on, you want to spend time talking to real women, and like me you will be successful:)
Steve

After reading these post i have come to a conclusion. It is obvious who is TRUE and who is UNTRUE. The ones that give thumbs up, are the ones that are lesbians, and/or swingers. The people that join the site, or want to are the one that want to get laid. I for one are living proof of going through the RIPOFF of adult friend finder.com. Yes, i paid for the service, as well as the FREE service. I only got girls that did contact me only go to sign up to other different sites. I did not once meet any girls on there and i cancelled the membership and complained. After all said and done, i was billed for the next month, but i got that resolved real quick. The reason for these headaches, is the work at home biz. These girls are selling their souls (persay) to the devil. I fell, we fell into the trap.

Its called, "Affiliates". These bit ches get off on stealing our money and whine that we are vulgar animals and only on the prowl for sex.

Well when you send a nude picture to me that shows you are freaking hot, and tell me you want to meet up and bang me, i think thats open doors for a conversation. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!??? I would jump all over you like a WILD ANIMAL!

You sold me your sex appeal for actual SEX! They get a certain percentage of commision for the actual sale that takes palce. Its so smooth how it happens, because once they hook ya they will reel you in and take advantage.
For anymore that wants to call me out on this. Go to website/s that you have been with and check out the AFFILIATES link or AFFILIATE PROGRAM, something about commercial affiliates. Its called out to webmasters to make money online. Go all out on mass e-mails and harrassmets to get you to sign up so they can make 75% of commision to what you actually pay. Look at the actual website like the homepage. There are people on their that look freakin hot and gorgeous. When you sign up for "FREE", there is some good looking catches, but you can view very minumal amount of information about the person because of the advertisement to "UPGRADE" to silver or gold.

I am daring someone to call me out on this one. I will rip you apart. I have soo much information about this crap its unreal. I for one tried to market online, only to find out how it is truly done. How you trap people in and never let go on anything, just to make the commission sale and do absolutely nothing to be called a entrepreneur? GET A LIFE and a real job! I am tired of being screwed over, ripped off, worried about id theft, because you do make it more prone to have that happen giving your credit card or in fact your checking account. NEVER GIVE YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT! Only to the trusted sites. If you have internet explorer, you knpow what i am talking about. So whomever reads this and have previously posted one, hopefully my words can be expressed as you have done with yours.

I of course was a female on AFF and had no problem finding guys, and did meet some cool people!! My problem was when I asked them to take off my profile!!

I REQUESTED 6+ TIMES FOR MY PROFILE TO BE REMOVED and it gets removed for a few weeks, maybe monmths but every once in a while I go on just to see if it is still there and of course I can't log in.....but when I search THERE I AM!!!!!!!!

I find that totally immoral and unethical....For 1 how many other people are listed that shouldn't be....a little deceiveing huh, and for 2 If a customer no longer wants service let alone all their info on AFF then a company needs to respect that!!!!

I STILL HAVE 2 SAVED EMAILS VERIFYING FROM THEM THAT THEY DID!!!

RIP OFF!! OH AND I STILL GET EMAILS FROM SO CALLED AFF USERS TOO!!! THE RETURN ADRESS ON THE EMAIL SAYS adultfriendfinder!!!

I have been on AFF for a few years now and have found it a very good place to meet others with the same likes and dislikes as myself, my husband and my partner.

We have a few different profiles on AFF and some of it's sister sites. Through this site we have found that on some profiles that we use the most (yes we do participate in the online magazine and blogs)we are able to contact others on the site by email or by sending winks. We are also able to use the web cam part of the site even as a non-paying members.

It would be interesting to see what kind of emails this person is trying to send to other members. I also discard the emails that demand I meet them so they can **** the *** out of me. We are not on this site to receive abuse but to make new friends and have a good time together.
The site is only as good as you make it. If he wants everything for free then maybe he should look at joining Plenty of fish. But if he is sending out crude messages it won't matter where he signs up the answers will always be the same. No one needs a jerk writing to them. Maybe he should just be happy staying at home with a pile of magazines and be done with it.
signed;

Kathy AKA 24fun69bc

Unfortunately, the problems are widespread and not necessarily limited to AFF under its various brand names.

Some very common problems with most of these sites:

The misleading "free" claims. The site operators go out of their way to claim that it's "free to place an ad!!!" What they consistently and conveniently forget to mention is that it's not free to read, to reply, or to retrieve those replies - in whatever combination.

While it's entirely possible to run a site without charging users (by funding it with banner advertising revenue), this is rare. The "free" claim is most often just a scam intended to lure you to an anything-but-free site for long enough to fill out a profile. It happens routinely on many sites. How many will then promptly leave when they realise that they've been had by deliberately-confusing or misleading "free" claims? Likely many. How many of those profiles are still on the sites? Your guess is as good as mine... probably more than a few.

Then there are the sites with many arbitrary restrictions that censor all direct contact info out of your ad. This goes hand-in-hand with the "free to place an ad" half-truth scams. To refuse ads with "for a good time call" and the number of your ex- would be more than understandable (as that would be abuse). To strip out every possible link to any external communication (website, mail, you name it)? That's more likely to be an attempt to control all communication in order to charge a fortune for what was originally touted as a "free ad". Slippery and very deceptive.

Then there are the "front" sites. They look like independent matchmaker sites in their own right on their own separate domains until you try to do anything - then you're suddenly directed to one of the big pay sites, such as FF or match.com. This allows the same few sites to occupy multiple spaces on search-engine results, crowding out any more legitimate links with pointless decoys.

A variant of this is "affiliate spam", a scheme by which the operator of a site pays a small percentage of the take to anyone posting a link to the site. The link contains a code (which often looks something like example.com?id=1234567) to indicate which shill gets the kickback for posting these links all over the Internet.

And then there are the "Find a date in (name of your town)" ads. How does that work? A refinement on the "find a date in your area" advertising schemes (where "your area" could mean anything - even the entire continent if that's what the prospective vendor wants it to mean), this operates by exploiting your Internet (IP) address. When your browser requests a webpage, any webpage, it needs to tell the server where to send the response. That gives a unique 32-digit binary number which can be easily looked up by a computer to find the name and address of your Internet provider. The name of the town is then dropped into the ad before it's sent to your screen. That doesn't mean they have anyone listed in that town.

This seems almost par for the course, sadly, and that's just the tactics of the people operating the sites. Some of the ads and responses are even more suspect. The generic e-mail "I saw your profile, you sound hot, you sound interesting, see my profile at somepaysite.com" says absolutely nothing to indicate the sender even read your profile. Why? It's a machine, being used to drive traffic to some ripoff site that may not even be affiliated with the original posting being answered. The responses are all generic, they all sound good at very first casual glance and are all utterly meaningless. E-mail return address (if present) is usually in some free e-mail server like @mail.com and doesn't work - by design, most likely.

For these reasons and more, most of what's being targeted to exploit the single and lonesome is of questionable value at best. If there are exceptions, they're indeed the exception, not the rule. Don't get your hopes up.

Blunder into the land of the "overseas connection" and the "mail-order bride" and things only get worse. There are a few good sites (like womenrussia or asawa) which give many warnings about these operations. Some are agencies using photos of models or post outdated ads from people who are already married to someone else, years ago. Some purport to connect you to someone in exotic, faraway lands - but she doesn't speak your language, so they now have an excuse to put themselves in the middle of the communication link (instead of providing direct contact info) and bilk you for overpriced translation services. Many make the bulk of their money not by selling addresses but by marketing everything from gift delivery to travel - even if there's nothing waiting at the other end but a wild goose chase.

Even if the personals site itself is legit, all these and more are prone to take out ads. Who's going to stop them from doing so? Anyone can place an ad, by design. It's not just a question of wondering if the supposed "love of your dreams" hiding behind that computer will turn out to actually just be a wrinkled old man or a kid playing with mama's computer. Some serious criminals can (and do) enjoy the freedom to place their ads anywhere on that big, international free-for-all that is the Internet. No online venue is completely immune. If "her" first letter to you is "I no speak english" followed by "I love you more than anything in world" followed by "I need visa, or my relative is dying, or I am about to be without job or computer, or send airfare so I visit you" followed by "send western union moneygram control number" followed immediately by dead silence, in exactly that order? Very common in some countries; caveat emptor, as a very nasty surprise may be lurking.

I posted my own complaint about AFF. I was on three different times. Minimal luck. It's not ALL bogus. Most of it is. Men have to be "patient" while they deal with scammers, prostitutes, and women giving everybody the runaround. Meanwhile, the meter is ticking, and you're time is wasted.

Julie from Texas, I must respectfully disagree. AFF is marketed AS a hook-up site. If women are not using it as a hook-up site, they are practicing deception.

My emails were cordial and polite. I was courteous but made it unequivocal I was looking for a no-strings-attached sexual liason. I'm not married. At the times I was on AFF, I was completely single. I did not email married women.
My pics were decent. I did not wave my privates for the camera. Women are less visual about sex.

Now, I found hundreds of women displaying their breasts and genitals and stipulating they're looking for a sugardaddy to take care of them in exchange for access to their flesh. I call this "virtual prostitution."

I corroborate all claims of porn stars and bona-fide prostitutes abusing AFF. The operators of AFF should not allow "escorts." Period. Also of thousands of profiles that are obviously phony. "18 yo female supermodel in Beverly Hills seeks sex with any guy anytime anywhere." The photo is of a famous porn star. Trash like that. You stipulate 100 miles, you get emails from the Phillipines and Russia from girls who want a quick Visa to the U.S.

You try to contact customer service about these abuses. You get nowhere. I can't comment on specific accusations against the AFF owner.

I have been a silver member, and also have been on the site for free. My personal preference is to be on it for free, but it just depends on what your looking for, and how often. (if it's your life's ambition, it's better to be a gold member)

This site is NOT a dating site by no means. Your not going to meet "the one" on here no way. However, if your looking for a "good time," I can say with experience you are going to find just that.

The men do need to be patient, but the best way to "meet" someone is in the chat rooms provided in that site, NOT using emails.

I actually enjoy this site very much. My husband does also.. *wink* We have become friends with many people from this site, and if it weren't for AFF we would not know these people at all.

One of the closest friends I have today I met on this site. It's not for her lifestyle, anymore, but we go shopping all the time! Take it slow, be realistic, and above all remember these ARE actual people that your dealing with, be understanding of THEIR lives, not just your "little friend" and your RIGHT NOW needs.

AFF, total and complete waste of time if you are a guy.

For the woman above who made a statement about AFF, For one thing, anyone who gets on this site is not looking for a 'friendship' or a relationship, they get on there for one reason and one reason only, so for a woman to get offended by what a guy may e-mail them when they have a photo in their profile of them performing sexual acts, or other revealing photos, is totally rediculous. If you can't handle it, then put your profile up on Match.com and tell everyone how you want a sensitive, caring, wimpy guy(yeah right). And do not be offended by the quality of people you get either. This site was created for one thing only, and we all know what it is, so quit acting like its some innocent dating site.

Guys, do not waste your time, you want to get some action with no strings attached go to your local bar or club and pick your balls up off the floor and go talk to some women, being good looking or having money is not everything, but you need confidence.

I have browsed AFF before, but they do try to rope you into paying to actually get to read a profile or see a decent photo. Not going to happen for me, I get plenty of action the way it is, but just seeing the comments here amused me.

AFF, total and complete waste of time if you are a guy.

For the woman above who made a statement about AFF, For one thing, anyone who gets on this site is not looking for a 'friendship' or a relationship, they get on there for one reason and one reason only, so for a woman to get offended by what a guy may e-mail them when they have a photo in their profile of them performing sexual acts, or other revealing photos, is totally rediculous. If you can't handle it, then put your profile up on Match.com and tell everyone how you want a sensitive, caring, wimpy guy(yeah right). And do not be offended by the quality of people you get either. This site was created for one thing only, and we all know what it is, so quit acting like its some innocent dating site.

Guys, do not waste your time, you want to get some action with no strings attached go to your local bar or club and pick your balls up off the floor and go talk to some women, being good looking or having money is not everything, but you need confidence.

I have browsed AFF before, but they do try to rope you into paying to actually get to read a profile or see a decent photo. Not going to happen for me, I get plenty of action the way it is, but just seeing the comments here amused me.

A bunch of questions for whoever can answer -
Can female members (standard) please shed some light in terms of how emails are received and what your ability to respond is? How are the emails managed? Do you get fed a limited amount per day (say 10) per alloted amount that standard members can answer or do you diligently go through screening the HUNDREDS of emails looking for that gem (I wouldn't - what a pain)? Given the limits on how many emails a standard member can answer each day, then how is this modified by those who have paid for the "standard contact" option and have contacted a standard member? Does this option increase the number of emails a standard member can view and answer? I can't imagine AFF being ok with storing massive amounts of email (simply deleted before delivery?) on their servers for any length of time (despite their claim of 30 day limits for standard members).

There's no doubt that AFF is a predatory environment for scammers but can we say AFF and these con artists are in collusion with each other or is AFF merely just a forum for which the owners feel little to no responsiblity for quality control or are negligent and ethically ambivalent?

Even paying gold members can be scammers too - I met a woman (gold member) who is nothing but a prostitute trolling for lonely men with cash.
Everything I've asked is probably trivial but I'd like to determine just to what degree this conning exists - is it centralized, a loose network, or merely the byproduct of a poorly managed business.

There's no need for people complaining about AFF, Alt.com and the like to get upset with each other's observations.

From what I have seen on AFF, Alt.com, etc both the male and female posters' comments here reflect the facts, it's just a question of perspective which separates them.

It seems likely from my experience that the rules applied to non-paying female "members" of AFF, Alt.com, etc are different from those applied to the non-paying men.

Whilst my account occasionally makes it impossible to view profiles without paying the subscription, most of the time I can. The same cannot be said for some of the men I've talked to who have never been able to view profiles without paying.

This policy would make sense as it's useful for the site to have some genuine women around otherwise the scams wouldn't work as well.

I think this policy goes some way to explain why women get so many e-mails from married men and other types they have said they are not interested in. Although I am sure - like the two other female posters here - that utter stupidity and incoherence also play an important part!

I have heard about bogus female profiles leading to paying URLs so many times it must be true, even though I have never seen such a bogus male profile. As one of the other posters says, people should use their common sense!

And I know for a fact that some men are maintaining completely bogus (and anti-social) female profiles, as one of the men concerned has told me about his! People should always be wary on such sites - even men.

And there must be many other men with multiple male profiles. There are more than a million male profiles listed for the UK on AFF out of a population of just over 50 million. Think about it - that's one AFF profile for every 25 men, boys and male babies in the country. Unlikely.

On the whole, AFF and the like can be useful sites for genuine women, if frequently annoying - as long as they *never* pay the subscription.

I am too stingy to even think of paying for such a service, and having read the comments here I'm extremely grateful that I am such a cheapskate!

But on the other hand, women like me should be asking ourselves whether our presence there is helping to maintain the underlying scam.

In that sense, I think some of the comments made by female posters here are a bit rose tinted. The scams do not appear to be solely the fault of stupid, lazy or lonely men!

Of course women will have better experiences on the site. There is a ten to one ratio. Then subtract all the fake entries and the ratio is even more lopsided. Women may have to deal with jerks on the site, but they dont have to put up with fake ads and computer generated replies. I have been on other dating sites, and AFF is by far the most fraudulent. Now that I have left the site, AFF keeps emailing me to tell me that I have responses to my ad. It is just a trap to get me to sign up again. When I was on the site, I received maybe 1 or 2 responses a week. Now that I have left, I am receiving 3 to 4 daily. Its not too hard to figure out.

Of course women will have better experiences on the site. There is a ten to one ratio. Then subtract all the fake entries and the ratio is even more lopsided. Women may have to deal with jerks on the site, but they dont have to put up with fake ads and computer generated replies. I have been on other dating sites, and AFF is by far the most fraudulent. Now that I have left the site, AFF keeps emailing me to tell me that I have responses to my ad. It is just a trap to get me to sign up again. When I was on the site, I received maybe 1 or 2 responses a week. Now that I have left, I am receiving 3 to 4 daily. Its not too hard to figure out.

Of course women will have better experiences on the site. There is a ten to one ratio. Then subtract all the fake entries and the ratio is even more lopsided. Women may have to deal with jerks on the site, but they dont have to put up with fake ads and computer generated replies. I have been on other dating sites, and AFF is by far the most fraudulent. Now that I have left the site, AFF keeps emailing me to tell me that I have responses to my ad. It is just a trap to get me to sign up again. When I was on the site, I received maybe 1 or 2 responses a week. Now that I have left, I am receiving 3 to 4 daily. Its not too hard to figure out.

Of course women will have better experiences on the site. There is a ten to one ratio. Then subtract all the fake entries and the ratio is even more lopsided. Women may have to deal with jerks on the site, but they dont have to put up with fake ads and computer generated replies. I have been on other dating sites, and AFF is by far the most fraudulent. Now that I have left the site, AFF keeps emailing me to tell me that I have responses to my ad. It is just a trap to get me to sign up again. When I was on the site, I received maybe 1 or 2 responses a week. Now that I have left, I am receiving 3 to 4 daily. Its not too hard to figure out.

It seems like the report comes from a free user of AFF. Of course the free membership is limited! Why else would a person buy a membership? I was a member for over a year many years ago and had great luck at the site, dating and 'playing'. I rejoined approx 1 1/2 years ago and have been a 'silver' member for about a year of that time. As a free member, options were very limited, but since upgrading to silver I have met many different types of women and had a great time. If you were out on the town dating, you would be spending money. Internet dating sites are no different, except you have the opportunity to know much more about someone before you meet for that first date.

The problem with the two previous posts is that they claim to be non-paying members of the site. They say that you can send emails to people and look at profiles. That is simply untrue. I have not ONCE since I joined in December been able to send a single email to ANY individual, only receive, and that was one (the bot).

On top of that, I am unable to even LOOK at any profiles. When I click to see someone's profile, it asks me too upgrade to their Silver or Gold memberships. I have not ONCE on that site been able to view a SINGLE profile. Not once. The ONLY thing I've ever been able to do on that site is the stupid little Show Interest option which has done nothing for me.

How the he** can I even talk to someone if I can't email them? How can I even tell if I want to email them if I can't read their profile at all?

I have been a female member of AFF for about 6 months. I have been both a standard and silver member. Now grant-it, you are quite limited as a standard member...but standard membership is free and well...you get what you pay for.

I have met many real people off this site and have enjoyed socializing there more-so than any other dating/hook-up site on the net (and I've been to many). However, I also have received hundreds...yes hundredS of emails from men on that site. Do I respond to them all? Of course not.

Now I will admit that the ratio of males to females on the site is a bit disproportionate. But c'mon guys...attractive ladies do have their pick, be it on AFF, some other site, or in-person. I posted something similar at AFF but I'll do it again here to try and help you out.

1.) READ the woman's profile. For example, I clearly state that I do not want to hear from married men but they still email me. I clearly state that I am interested in meeting people in their 20s or 30sbut I still get emails from people older than my parents.

2.) If you live in Arizona and you are asking someone in NY to travel to you...c'mon, be realistic! Does a pretty girl really need to travel across the country to get laid?

3.) DO NOT send emails that say nothing more than, "let's f**k," or something of the like. Do you know how many of those I get? I just roll my eyes and click delete.

4.) Check both your profile and emails for errors. It is not uncommon for me to get emails that are so incoherent that I just delete them.

5.) REMEMBER...AFF is providing you with space to MARKET yourself. Put some thought and effort into your profile, and emails. Most women need more than just a pic of "your little friend" to get them interested.

I am a female member of Adult Friend Finder. After spotting several (negative) comments from some of the male members of the site, and noticing a reference to this site; I decided to pay you a visit. I did a search of this RipOff site. Spent some time researching the complaints filed here against AFF. After careful consideration I have decided to voice my opinion on this most recent flame against AFF.

There are 'real' people on this site. Yes, I have met them. I am NOT a paying member of AFF and therefor my access to the site is limited. I can not always view profiles. Nor can I always send messages. As a non paying member I can not view the web cams that the site offers. I knew these would be my limitations when I joined. See, I knew that I needed to READ the terms!

The trick to using and enjoying your time on AFF is patience! As a standard member the site requires you to actually participate in the different functions. This participation will earn you what is called 'popularity points'. These points do not cost anything and will allow you to view a certain amount of profiles and send e-mails (no more than 10 in a 24 hour time span). You DO NOT have to spend money to enjoy or benefit from the site.

It seems to me that the majority of complaints have come from men. I wonder just how they used the site? Were they polite in the e-mails they sent to women? Most women on the site do not use the site as a hook-up place. They use it as a "get acquainted and we will see if anything comes of it" site. However, a lot of women on the site are hit with crap e-mails that say things like "I in ur town. Y dont u met me at (some hotel) so we can ****"

I am not joking. We women on that site get hit with e-mails like that ALL the time. Those men get nothing but scorn in return. Word spreads quickly when a man is being ignorant or rude. Women spread the handles around and that member becomes like lice ... no one wants them. Then they complain that they are not getting any action. Give me a break! The men who get what they are looking for put in an effort on the site. They work with patience!

You can not expect results after only 4 days like Kurt in Western Nebraska. Or after 2 weeks like Eric in Blue Springs, Missouri.

I have said more than I intended. I just wanted to let people know that there are real women on the site. You just have to be careful and remember the old saying "If it looks to good to be true, then it probably is." Learn to spot the bots and start reacting to the real people. You will be happier on the site if you do.